Age Restrictions
by WhereStarsComeFrom
Summary: It all comes down to this: can any of the Cullens get into an age restricted cabaret to warn Emmett and Rosalie?  I'm actually thinking about deleting this one...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As much as I want a couple Cullens around my place, Stephenie Meyer owns it all. Oneshot…BPOV. Enjoy!

A/N: I am _so_ sorry that I misspelled Rosalie's name! I feel so bad! Now it's fixed…

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I was waiting impatiently to see Edward again. The plan was, once Carlisle got off work, he would pick up Edward, Alice, and Jasper, dropping off Edward at Charlie's house. The minutes were ticking by at a painfully slow rate. The ten minutes until Edward got dropped off was seemed like hours. Then, I had a stroke of brilliance: call Jake. I had called before, but as usual, no one picked up. I checked the clock and it was 7: 15. Someone had to be home.

Charlie was out, working late, and it was good to have the house to myself. Picking up the phone, I was determined to call until (a) Edward came (b) someone picked up at Jake's. Dialing the number, I listened to the ringing.

"Hello?"

I nearly dropped the phone in surprise at the sound of Billy's voice.

"Hello? Billy?"

"Bella," his voice turned dark and sad.

"Yeah, it's me Billy. Hey, is Jake in…" I didn't have much hope.

"He just left."

"Sam and the gang?" I asked, dismayed.

"They're at a club a little ways away from La Push."

"Oh," my voice was flat, "Having a night out?"

"They're meeting there before setting out…" Billy stopped abruptly, as if realizing he had said too much. I decided not to push it.

"Well tell Jake I called,"

"Yeah. Bye Bella, be careful,"

"Bye Billy," I hung up. So much for that call.

The sound of tires on the driveway made me perk up. Outside, the Volvo was waiting. Edward got out graceful as ever. I could only hope I didn't faint with Carlisle and Jasper and Alice here. His eyes looked slightly annoyed. "Hello Bella," he wrapped me in his arms.

"Hi Edward. Are you okay?"

He smiled crookedly at me. "Do you mind driving around with us for a bit?"

I looked surprised, but said, "Oh? No that's fine… are we going somewhere?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "I'll tell you later. You're sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all,"

He opened up the back door so I could climb in next to Alice. "Bella!" she reached over and gave me a one armed hug. We slid over to let Edward in the backseat with us. "Hi Bella," Jasper said with a soft smile from the front passenger seat.

"Hey Jasper,"

"Hello Bella," Carlisle said smiling. He was dressed very casually and looked rather dashing. "I hope you don't mind, but we need Edward to come along… this should only take an hour at the most."

"It's fine, I wasn't doing anything anyway,"

The car drove onto the main road, but it was too dark to see where we were going. I looked to Edward. "So where are we going?"

He scowled. "We're actually looking for Rosalie and Emmett,"

Jasper added, "After they got in a big argument with Carlisle and Esme they decided to bolt and not tell us where they were going,"

"They said they were going to a cabaret or something," Edward muttered darkly.

"What were they arguing with you about?" I asked Carlisle.

Carlisle sighed. Alice informed me, "The same as usual: they want to 'combine bedrooms' in theory to make one ultimate living space…"

Jasper growled. "Yeah right… they're always in each other's rooms anyway,"

"Jasper," Carlisle said softly.

"It's true!" Edward muttered. "Some nights I just want to lock them up in their own rooms-"

"Edward," Carlisle said, not so softly this time.

I shifted uncomfortably. I felt like an intruder. Edward put his arm around me. Sometimes, I swear he _could_ read my thoughts. Then, something hit me. "Um, Edward, do you know what direction they were headed?" I asked weakly.

He shook his head and said, "There aren't too many cabarets or clubs around here so we're bound to find them soon…"

"Well I was talking on the phone to Billy…" My voice became small and trailed off, for the car fell silent.

"You were talking to Billy," Carlisle prodded gently.

"Right, he said that Jake, I mean, the pack, whatever, were going to meet at the club in La Push before they went out…"

Alice looked at me. "You sure?"

I nodded and felt the car make a swift U-turn. As the acceleration increased, Carlisle explained, "We'll check that one first, just to make sure they aren't there,"

"We're driving so slow…" Edward complained.

"Edward," Carlisle said, "I'm going at 80 miles per hour,"

Edward shrugged.

We got down to La Push rather quickly and started driving around the downtown. As we neared the trashier end of the strip, we saw a building with an assortment of people dressed in chic outfits, some with sinuously low necklines. "Well it looks like we've found it," Jasper said, trying to be optimistic.

"They're here alright," Edward muttered.

Carlisle drove the car behind the cabaret and parked. "Edward," he said, "Go tell them the situation and tell them to get over here,"

Edward got out of the car and, turning up his shirt collar, disappeared around the corner. "Will there be enough room in the car for everyone?" I asked.

"Jasper and I can run home," Alice said, peering out the window in the direction Edward had gone.

He reappeared shortly, looking thoroughly annoyed. "They wouldn't let me in," he said, getting back into the car. "The club's age restricted,"

Jasper moaned. "It's probably because you were alone," Alice said, touching Jasper's arm lightly. "Let's go Jasper."

"Wait a minute!" Edward said angrily, "There's not that much of a margin in our ages,"

Alice shrugged. "We can try,"

They got out of the car and walked around the corner, hand in hand. In no time at all, they came back. "I even offered to pay them," Alice remarked dismally.

Carlisle sighed. "I'll go get them," he closed the car door and set off into the darkness.

"They're not going to let him in," Alice said suddenly.

"What?" I couldn't hide my surprise. "How can Rosalie and Emmett get in but Carlisle can't…?"

Jasper snarled from the front seat. "Emmett is so huge he can get in anywhere," Edward said in a fast, angry whisper, "And all Rosalie has to do is wear a push-up bra and some extra make-up-"

"Those two are really quite repulsive sometimes," Alice commented, "But I don't see why you two make a big fuss…"

"I don't see what Emmett sees in her," Jasper wondered aloud.

"Honestly," Edward said, "Rosalie is such a b-"

"Shut it!" Alice hissed, "Carlisle is back,"

Carlisle opened the driver's door and got in. "Alice," his voice had a touch of irritation in it, "Call Rosalie's phone,"

She dialed the number and waited, "Hi, this is Rosalie, please leave a message," Alice repeated and hung up. "It's probably in the bottom of her purse," she murmured, dialing Emmett's number. The car was so quiet I could hear the ringing.

Edward growled, "They see it this time, they just _won't pick up_!"

"Jasper," Carlisle prodded. Jasper's brow furrowed in concentration. On the phone line, the message machine could be heard. Alice swore under her breath and looked to Carlisle. "Now what?"

"We'll have to sneak in," he answered. "Edward, what are they thinking?" 

"Rosalie is deciding if you told Alice to call her on not, and Emmett… well, he's thinking about Rose."

Jasper sighed. "So, Alice and I'll go, and Edward… do you want to come, Bella?"

I nodded. May as well add some adventure to my night.

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	2. I never thought I'd see the day

I never thought I'd see the day I'd write one of these things… Alas…

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Well anyway, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry about this! I know these notes get on everyone's nerves (mine included) but I had to. This is about this story, 'Age Restrictions'. Well, I'm thinking about deleting it… but hear me out before you review/get out balloons and celebrate/grab your pitchfork! There are three main reasons:

Rosalie and Emmett share a room anyway, thus defeating the purpose of why they went the cabaret.

Why are the La Push wolves headed to a cabaret? Um, yeah, that doesn't work.

The ending is weak. Yes, I have a super rough draft sitting in my documents that isn't finished yet, but it's not looking promising.

Also, I feel I owe an explanation to anyone who has tabs on this story and is wondering when this crazy author was going to update. I'm a terrible updater. Oneshots are more my thing. So, I'm looking to all you readers for (a) input (b) ideas (c) feedback. I like the idea of no one being able to get in somewhere because of an age restriction, but I feel I wrote it lacking in detail. School is starting so it will be a while, but if you like this story, tell me and I'll maybe look into salvaging it somehow. If you don't like it, explain why. Thank you so much for your patience to read this (hopefully) and understand where I'm coming from.

Sincere apologies,

WhereStarsComeFrom


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